Most relationships are set for failure for one simple reason. Two people jump in with unrealistic expectations. As time knocks some realistic sense into them, they start to realize the pole between life and fairytale. Some pessimism steps in. Some negligence.
So what do you do when you feel like there’s nothing left to do about your dying relationship? Try this. Just don’t do anything about the relationship.
Do something for yourself. Go for a long walk. Take a hiatus and figure out what it is that you really want and what matters to you.
Turns out, “Prioritizing Yourself” can be the one saving grace in your relationship.
Your own mental health is quite often reflected in your relationship. To see where a relation is, see where your mind is. If you’re thinking happy thoughts, appreciating the person you’re with and feeling grateful for them, you’re bound to be in a happy relationship. However, if the flow of thoughts is going in the direction of complaints and comparisons, you know you’re in for a downer. People think it’s the other way around but it isn’t. A happy person makes a relationship happier. Disturbed relationships are results of disturbance in one of the two minds involved.
Being honest about who you are, first to yourself, and then to the person you’re with, is imperative. Knowing who you are helps with two things. It sets your own mind clear about what you want, and don’t want, to do, be or feel. Second, it sets the other person’s expectations right. Clarity in who you are and what is important to you can also change the face of your relationship. If you really look around, you’ll realize more often than not issues stem from little things. A person often tries to look through the haze and find in others what they can’t find in themselves. Often, a lack of self love results in abhorrent behaviour towards your better half. Insecurities surface and the worse side of a relationship starts taking over. The only way to tarnish that is to know, please and prioritize yourself.
So, next time you notice the door bangs are getting louder and more frequent, you know where to look for the solution. A change in attitude almost always leads to a change in your reality. Prioritizing yourself will inevitably lead to you giving more to yourself and to your relationship.